Since I had my glaucoma surgery on February 18th, the vision in that eye has not been normal. If you can "envision" streaked, bright, blurry, wavy, distorted double vision, you'll begin to understand how things look to me out of that eye! The doctor assures me the vision will return to normal, but until then, this is how I see the world! My depth perception is off, I'm a bit wobbly at times, and I can't do some things I'd like to do, like drive!!
This all has been a bit frustrating to me and it has caused me to feel irritable, and if I'm honest, just plain sad. Countless people have been praying for me and still, nothing has really changed. As I approached God about this one day, asking why I STILL have this distorted vision, I sensed Him ask me about my view of HIM. I really didn't think God answering my question with another question was what I was needing at the moment, but He persisted. He wanted to know....How did I see HIM.
As I thought of this a moment, I understood. You see, when we face trials and struggles -- when we don't get our prayers answered as quickly or in the way we see best -- we have to make sure our view of God is in proper focus. Do we view God as a harsh, impersonal being, whose goal is to keep us in line? Do we see Him as uncaring, far off, or unconcerned? Do we have a "distorted" view of God?
As I pondered how I viewed God, my vision of Him began to come into focus. What I know about God is first of all He is Good. He does everything with purpose and will even work my trials for my good. He is Love. He doesn't just love, He IS love. It's His essence. He is Faithful. He does what He says He will do. He keeps all His promises. He is my Heavenly Father. He sees me as His child and cares and protects me as His own. He is Light and in Him is no darkness at all. He can illumine the path before me. He directs me and there is nothing in Him that is evil or impure so I can trust Him. He is the Good Shepherd so He takes care of me. The list can go on and on.
My question of the seemingly unanswered prayer began to fade from my mind as I began to confess to God those attributes that truly reflect who He is. Though I desire my vision to clear, I am assured that no matter what, God is good. He is here with me and loves me beyond what I can even imagine.
So, when you are tempted to see through an unhealthy eye, remember your view of God will be distorted. But when your eye is clear, you'll see Him clearly.
"The eye is the lamp of your body; when your eye is clear, your whole body also is full of light ; but when it is bad, your body also is full of darkness. Luke 11:34
