I have discovered over the years, that life can be challenging. God desires to sustain us as we look for "splashes of His grace" every day. My desire is that through posts, or book reviews, you may find something that points you to the grace of God, and that He ultimately will make a difference in your life.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

This is Your Brain in Love -- by Dr. Earl Henslin

This is Your Brain in Love by Dr. Earl Henslin looks at the correlation between the brain and people's behaviors, and the way it causes them to interact in relationships. He has concluded that through the use of a SPECT scan, (Single Photon Emission Computed Tomography imaging) obtained through Dr. Daniel Amen's Clinics, one can determine the exact area of the brain that is affected and therefore, through the use of supplements, food, or drugs, one can balance these areas in the brain that are overactive and solve issues in marriage that have long been sources of problems.

Chapters 1 - 3 are introductory, describing love and sexuality in the context of marriage and the importance of a healthy functioning brain in the midst of it. The following five chapters define different types of "lovers" (I feel better term would be personality types) -- "The Scattered Lover", "The Overfocused Lover", "The Blue Mood Lover", The Agitated Lover", and "The Anxious Lover". Each of these chapters begin with a quick test in order for you and your spouse to rate yourselves/each other to see if you fit this profile. Then, throughout the chapter there are suggestions as to how to deal with the problems associated with this "brain problem" as well as stories of couples who have found help dealing with these issues.

I found the scientific research of the brain fascinating and it reinforced my belief in our Creator who designed intricate systems of the body. The brain can affect our feelings and actions and in order to function to our full potential, our mind, spirit and body need to be healthy.

The final chapter gave the secrets to lasting love: kindness, patience, forgiveness, and honesty and why they are good for the brain.

I found the book to be interesting, but not quite what I expected when I looked at the title. I was hoping to find a book with more suggestions for deepening the marital relationship through spiritual and emotional connections, but instead, it felt more like an infomercial for the Amen Clinics. Though Dr. Henslin did recommend supplements at times before medications, and offered suggestions for dealing with each type of "lover", he always seemed to recommend the SPECT brain scan -- a costly scan that insurance did not cover. Those with limited resources or without access to an Amen Clinic, may tend to "blame" their problem on a faulty brain, and not deal with some of the underlying issues that have caused their brain to become faulty.

My husband and I didn't really fall into any one category particularly. We each have a few of the characteristics of each of them occasionally depending on our circumstance, so the book wasn't exceptionally helpful to me. But readers who rate very high in one category, may have their eyes opened for the first time, and begin to seek the help they need.

Sunday, January 10, 2010


As I was with my grandson last week, I was reminded just how much we are alike. It wasn't so much a physical resemblance, (though the thigh rolls looked quite similar), rather it was how quickly he could go from being perfectly content, to completely upset in just a matter of minutes. At times he was practically inconsolable. All his basic needs had been met. He had been fed recently, his diaper was dry, he was fully clothed, and he was around people who loved him. He had just been playing and smiling and yet, for some reason, he suddenly became unhappy. He was tired and needed a nap, but he continued to fuss, struggle, and refused to give up his fight. Sometimes his crying went on for an hour. His mom and I knew he needed to relax, settle down, close his eyes, and rest in the arms of the ones who loved him, but he chose to fuss, wiggle, arch his back, and scream! We would rock, walk, and rock some more, and eventually he would give up and fall asleep, but not till he had made himself "most miserable!" I had to smile. The change was dramatic! The look on his face now was one of peace and contentment. And, once again, life was as it should be. How much easier would it have been, if he had just closed his eyes, and found rest in the arms of his Gramma!

I thought about how many times I do the same thing. Things seem to be going fairly well. I have all the necessities of life. I have food to eat, clothes to wear, a home to live in, and a family who loves me, and yet, something goes crazy in my mind and I loose it! I begin to fret about the "what if's". I worry about finances. I'm frustrated about decisions that need to be made. Fear begins to creep in, and emotionally I'm drained and tired. What I need to do is to curl up in my Father's loving arms and find peace and rest there. Instead, I usually begin to fuss. Soon this becomes a frantic cry as I wiggle and fight the One who is trying to soothe me. It would be so much simpler if I quit my fretting and rested, but like my grandson, Ben, I choose to struggle against the very things and the very One that would help me.

In those times of distress, I need to remind myself that taking time to rest in the Lord will do wonders for me, as well as for my loved ones around me. There is nothing worse than a frantic, crying, inconsolable woman!!

So the next time you find yourself weary and tired, instead of fighting it, allow the Lord to hold you in His arms and comfort you with His love, and find the peaceful rest you truly need. I'll try to do the same!

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)